As far as I recall, I started to keep a diary as early as eight years old. I do not recall what, how, and when I wrote about, but writing on my diary was one of my routines that I kept on and off throughout my life. Most often, I encourage my client to keep a “journal” rather than a “diary.” There are many recommendations on how to write a journal, especially for therapeutic purposes. Here is one of them that I have similar approaches to using a journal as apart of therapy process: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/201101/journaling-in-therapy
However, I do believe that your journal must go much deeper than what was suggested in the link. Furthermore, I am a firm believer that is walking alongside the wounded in their soul have to be transparent about the therapy process, including who I am, why I am doing what I am doing, and where I am going with what I am doing. My role as a counselor is closer to a consultant who is generating each person’s unique historical moments of “good and bad” altogether. I never hear my client’s events as “stories,” even though I use a narrative approach is a critical counseling theory. I help my client to re-create his/her historical moments from the eyes of a nurturing parent to a lonely π , scared π± , embarrassed π³ , afraid π¦ , confused π , and so-called “negative emotions” when the only desire he/she had was to be heard, understood, cared, and known to their parents. Most of my clients have no idea what a nurturing parent means emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, even though they can talk about it endlessly.
Thus, I encourage self-reflection as one of the most important skills to learn, familiar with, and become almost second nature for them. In other words, self-reflection needs to become organic processes embedded in daily life, whether you write them down or not. In short, I am intentional in every encounter with my clients. I often talked to my client that journaling exercise needs to become a dialogue than a conversation. A conversation does not necessarily require to talk about “hot issues.” Having conversation most often “feels good.” On the contrary, dialogue combines conversation, reflection, and debate-like features that could address “hot issues” with gentleness, kindness, and compassion. Many of my clients asked me “how to” write a journal like a dialogue and gave them “a sample.”. So, after a long period of pondering and reflection, I decided to share a part of my journal where I started a dialogue with my father, who passed away two weeks before my trip to have my 1-year-old son meet his grandfather in 2008. My dialogue with my father has been the most intimate, painful, dreading experiences, yet there are tremendous sources of healing, spiritual energy, and relentless drive that help me become who I am now and whom I want to be in the future when I die “at a ripe old age.” (1 Chronicles 29:28).
μλ²μ§β¦ νλ²μ΄λΌλ μ νν βμ¬λνλ€ λΈμβ νκ³ λ§ν΄ μ£Όμ§ κ·Έλ¬μ ¨μ΄μ. βλ―Έμνλ€ λΈμ β βμ λ§ λ―Έμνλ€ μ²μ μβ λΌκ³ β¦ βλ΄κ° λλ₯Ό λ κΈ°μ΅νλ€. 그리μ κ³ λ³΄κ³ μΆμλ€β λΌκ³ νλ² μ΄λΌλ λ§ν΄ μ£Όμ§ κ·Έλ¬μ ¨μ΄μ. μ κ° κ°μ§κ³ μλ건 μλ²μ§μ 무μμ΄ κΈ°μ΅, λ κ±±μ μ€λ° λͺ¨μ΅μ λ§μμ΄ κ³ κ°λ₯Ό μμ΄κ³ λ°©λ°λ₯μ μ³λ€λ³΄μκ³€ νμ ¨λ λͺ¨μ΅. μμ¬λ₯Ό νμ€λλ©΄ λ§μΉ λ¨Όκ° κ³ λ―Όκ³Ό κ±±μ μΌλ‘ λ§μΉ λ¨Έλ¦¬κ° μνμ λ―, κ·Έ μΆμ 무κ²κ° μλ²μ§λ‘μ 무κ²κ° λ무λλ ν°κ²μ²λΌ, μ λλ‘ λ²ν°κΈ°λ νλ€λ― νμμ μνμ μ¬λ¦¬μ μ± λͺΈμ κΈ°λλ― μμ¬λ₯Ό νμκ³€ νμ ¨λ μλ²μ§. κ·Έ μλ²μ§λ₯Ό μ λ λ μμμ΄ λ§μ΄ μμ΄μ νμ μ΄ μ λ κ² λͺ»λ§λ νμꡬλ μκ°νμλλ°β¦ μλ§λ κ·Έκ²μ΄ μλ²μ§μ λ²λνλ λͺ¨μ΅μ΄ μλκΉ μΆμ΄μ. μλ²μ§β¦ κ·Έλ¦¬μ΄ μ΄λ¦ μλ²μ§β¦ μ λ νλ²λ μλ²μ§μκ² βμ¬λνλ€, λ―Έμνλ€, 그리μ λ€βνκ³ λ§μ λͺ»νμ΄μ. μ¬μ€ μ¬λνμ§λ, λ―Έμνμ§λ, 그립μ§λ μμμμ μλ²μ§β¦ μ κ² λνλ―Όκ΅μ μ΅μ΄ μ¬μ λν΅λ Ήμ΄ λ κ±°λΌκ³ κ°μ‘± μΉμ§λΆλ€μκ² μ κ° μμ£Ό βλλΆλ¬μ§λ€βκ³ μκΈ° νμ§λ©΄μλ λ§μ μ κ° μΈλ¬Έκ³ λ±νκ΅λ₯Ό κ°κ³ μΆλ€ ν λ κ·Έλ κ² λΆνλ₯Ό λ΄μκ³ .. . μΈλλ€μ μ€λμ λ£κ³ μ μ λ¨λμ΄ μμΌμ μ νλ§λ νμ ¨μ£ . β첫 μ νκΈμ λμ€λ€. κ·Έ λ€μλΆν°λ λκ° μμμ ν΄μΌν΄.β λ무λ λμ νκ² κ·Έλλ μ λ§λ₯ μ’μμ΄μ . κ³ λ±νκ΅ κ°λ©΄ μ΄μ¬ν 곡λΆν΄μ κ°κ³ μΆμ μ’μ νκ΅μ κ°μ μ΄λ¦΄λ ν°λΈμμ λ΄€λ κΈ°μκ° λκ² λ€κ³ λ€μ§νμλ κΈ°μ΅μ΄ λμ. ν°λΈμ λμ€λ λλΆλΆμ μ¬μλ€μ λ©μ§ μ·μ μ§μ νμ₯μ νκ³ μμλλ° κ·Έ μ¬ κΈ°μλ μ μν°μμ μ μμ λν λ³΄κ³ λ₯Ό νκ³ μμμ£ . λκ° λ‘μλ―ν μ·μ μ κ³ μ λλ‘ νμ₯λ νμ§ μμκ² κ°μλ κ·Έ μ¬κΈ°μ. λλΆλ¬μ§κ² μνν μν©μ΄μμκ² κ°μλ°λ μκΈ° μκ°μ μ νλ κ·Έ μ¬κΈ°μκ° λ무 λ©μ§κ² 보μκ³ κ·Έλμ μ λ³΄κ³ κ°νΈμ¬λ μ μλμ νλΌκ³ νμ ¨λ μλ§ μλ²μ§μ λ§μ λ°λ‘ μ λ²λ¦¬κ³ μ μ λ κ² λ©μ§ κΈ°μκ° λμΌ κ² λ€λΌκ³ λ€μ§νλ κΈ°μ΅μ΄ λ§μΉ μλ²μ§ μμ 무μμ΄ λ§μμΌλ‘ 무λ¦μ κΏκ³ μμ μλ²μ§μ μ λ©΄μΌλ‘ λλ©΄μ νλ κ·Έ μκ°μ κΈ°μκ° λκ² κ°μ 기뻀λ λͺ¨μ΅μ΄ μ§κΈλ μμν΄μ .
κ·Έλ°λ° κ³ λ±νκ΅ μ²« μνμ λ³΄κ³ 20λ±μ νμ΄μ. κ·Έκ²λ λ°μμ.. μ κ΅μμ 20λ±μ νκ²λ μλκ³ β¦ λ 좩격μ΄μλ κ²μ μ€νκ΅λ μ λ³΄λ€ κ³΅λΆλ₯Ό λ λͺ»νλ μΉκ΅¬ νλκ° μ΄λ»κ² κ°μ νκ΅μ κ°μ λ°μΌλ‘ λμλλ° κ·Έ μΉκ΅¬κ° 3λ±μΈκ°? μ λ³΄λ€ ν¨μ¬ μ±μ μ μ λ°μ κ²μ λ³΄κ³ μμ²λ μ격μ§μ¬μ μ§μμμ λΆμμμ μλ μμ λ°©μ κ°μ λ²½μ μΉλ©° μΈμλ κΈ°μ΅μ΄ λμ. μ΄μ¬ν 곡λΆν΄μ λ€μμνμλ λ°λμ κ·Έ μμ΄λ³΄λ€ μ±μ μ μ λ°μ κ±°λΌλ κ°μ€λ₯Ό νλ©΄μβ¦ [μ€κ° μλ΅]… μλ²μ§β¦ λ μ’ λμμ£ΌμΈμ. μλ²μ§ μ΄μ μμ μ μ κ° νκ³ μΆλ€κ³ νλκ±° λλλΆ λ€μ΄μ£Όμ κ² μμ΄μ. μ¬μκ° λ κ·Έλ΄κ±Έ λ°°μ°λκ³ β¦ κ³ λ±νκ΅ λμμ μ’μ λ¨νΈ λ§λ μμ΄ λ³κ³ μ μ΄λ©΄ λμ§λΌκ³ νμλ©΄μβ¦ νΌμλ Έλ νκ³ μΆμλλ° λμ΄ μμΌλκΉ λꡬλ₯Ό νλμ§ νΌμλ Έλ₯Ό νλμ§ λμ€μ νλλ§ ν΄λΌ νμ ¨λκ±°β¦ κ·Έλλ κ·Έλ μ κ° λꡬλ₯Ό νλλ‘ ν΄μ£Όμ μ μ μΈμμ΄ λ°λ 첫 κ²½νμ΄μμ΄μ μλ²μ§. κ°μ¬ν΄μ. μλ²μ§ νν μ΄λ¨Έλνν κ·Έλ μ λꡬνλλ‘ νλ½ν΄μ£Όμ κ±° μ§κΈ μκ°ν΄λ³΄λ κ°μ¬νλ€κ³ λ§νμ§ λͺ»νμ΄μ. μ¬ν΄ μ¬λ¦μ κΌ νκ΅μκ°μ ν μλ²μ§μ λ€λ₯Ό μ΄μ΄ νμνμ λ°°μ°κ² ν΄μ£ΌμΈμ. κ·Έλ κ°λ©΄ μλ²μ§νν κΌ κ°μ¬νλ€κ³ λ§ν κ»μ. μλ§μκ²λ κΌ λ§ν κ²μ. λκ΅¬κ° μ κ²λ μμ κ°μ μ£Όμλ, κ°λν μ§ λ§λ΄ μ¬μ μμ΄λ‘, κ·Έκ²λ μΌκ³±μ΄λ λλ νμ μ€ λ§λ΄λ‘ νμ΄λ μ λ₯Ό μ²μμΌλ‘ βλꡬλΆβλΌλ λͺ¨μμ ν΅ν΄ μμ΄λ€κ³Ό λκ° λ€λ₯Έ λκ°μ λΈ κ²½νμ ν΄μ£Όμλ.. κ·Έλμ μ μμ μ λν μμ κ°μ΄ μκ²Όλ κ·Έ κΈ°ν. μ½μΉλ μ λ μ΄λκ°κ°μ λ¨μ΄μ§λλ° λ¨λ€λ³΄λ€ ν¨μ¬ μ΄μ¬ν νλ μμ΄λΌλ©΄μβ¦ν©μνλ ¨μ ν λ μμ΄λ€μ΄ μλνμ νμ μ 보μ΄μ§λ μλ μ΄λμ΄ μ΄λμ₯μμ νΌμ λꡬ π μν μ°μ΅ νμ κ±° λͺ¨λ₯΄μμ£ ? κ·Έλ κ² μ΄μ¬ν λ Έλ ₯νμ΄μ. λ€λ₯Έ μμ΄λ€μ²λΌ 빨리 λ°μ§λ₯Ό λͺ»ν΄μ μ½μΉκ° μ£Όμ μ μμΌ μ£Όμ§ λͺ»ν κ±° κ°μμ μν μ μνλ©΄ μ£Όμ μΌλ‘ μ¨μ€κ±° κ°μμβ¦ κ·Έλ κ² μ΄λ¦΄λλΆν° μ μμκ³ λκ°μ λ¨λ€λ³΄λ€ λͺλ°°λ‘ λ Έλ ₯νκ³ μΌν΄μΌ νλ€λ κ²μ μ§κΈλ μ λ κ²½ννκ³ μ΄μμ μλ²μ§β¦ λ―Έκ΅μ μμ κ·Έλ°κ° λ΄μ. λ―Έκ΅μμλ μλ²μ§ λ§μμ²λΌ μ’μ λ¨μ λ§λμ μμ΄λ³κ³ κ·Έλ₯ μ΄λ©΄ κ·Έλ κ² λ¨λ€μ²λΌ λͺλ°°λ‘ λ Έλ ₯νμ§ μμλ κ·Έλ₯ λμΆ© νΈνκ² μ΄μμμμκ² κ°μλ°β¦ [μ€κ° μλ΅]
κ·Έλ°λ° κ·Έ κΈ°μκ° λκ³ μΆλ€λ κΏμ΄ μ°μ°μ‘°κ°μ΄ λ¬λ 1997λ μ΄κ² λ€μ. μ‘Έμ μ 97λ 3μμ νμκ³ μ μμλμ μ‘Έμ μ μ μ μ¬λ₯Ό νλκ°? 1μμ μ μ¬λ₯Ό νλ κΈ°μ΅μ΄ λκ³ ν 3-4κ°μνμ ν΄κ³ κ° λμμΌλκΉβ¦ κΈμ λͺ»μ΄λ€κ³ μ§μ μ μΌλ‘ λ§μ λ€μ κ²μ μλμ§λ§ νμ¬κ° μ§ν₯νλ μ€νμΌμ κΈμ μ°μ§ λͺ»νλ€κ³ νλκ°? μ μ¬ λ λλΆν° μΈλͺ μ μ μ¬μμ€μ νλͺ μ ν΄κ³ λ₯Ό ν΄μΌνλ€κ³ μκ³ μμ΄μ λ€λ€ κΈ΄μ₯νλ μμ μ΄μμ΄μ. μ κ° κ·Έ νλͺ μ΄ λκ³ μΆμ§ μμμ§λ§ κ·Έκ² μ κ° λκ³ λ§μλ€μ. μ λ§ νλμ΄ λ¬΄λμ§λ κ² κ°μμ΄μ κ·Έλβ¦ λͺ¨λ₯΄μ ¨μ£ ? μ κ° λ§μ μνμΌλ λͺ¨λ₯΄μ ¨κ² μ§λ§β¦ κ·Έλλ μμμ§ μμΌμ ¨μκΉ μΆμ΄μβ¦ μλ²μ§λκΉβ¦ νλλλ μ κ° λ§μ μ§μ νμ§ μμλ λ€ μμλλ°β¦ κ·Έλ κ² μλ²μ§ μ΄λ¨Έλλ μμ΄μ λ§μ κ·Έλ₯ λ³΄κΈ°λ§ ν΄λ μμλ κ±° κ°μμ. μ λ μ΄λ¨Έλκ° λμ΄λ³΄λ κ·Έλ λλΌκ΅¬μβ¦ νλ¬Όλ©° μ λ νλ¬ λ¨μ§λ μλκ² κ°μ΄ μλ μ΄ π Mindyμ λ§μλ μ κ° λμΆ© 보면 μκ² λλ°β¦ μ λ₯Ό ν€μμ£Όμ μλ²μ§κ° μ΄μ° μ λ§μμ λͺ¨λ₯΄μ ¨μκΉ μΆμ΄μβ¦
μλ²μ§ β¦ μ κ° μ΄λ° μ λ¨Έ κ°κ°μ΄ μμμΌλ©΄ μ΄λ»κ² μ΄μμΈκΉ μΆμ΄μ. μλ²μ§λ κ·Έ μ΄λ €μ΄ μμ μ μ΄λ»κ² μ΄μ λ΄μ ¨μ΄μ? λ¬Όλ‘ μ ν¬λ€ λ³΄κ³ , μλ²μ§λ‘μμ μ± μκ°μΌλ‘ μ¬μ ¨κ² μ£ β¦.μλ²μ§β¦ μμ΄λ€μ΄ κΉΌλλ΄μ. λ€μ μΈκ»μ.. . μ΄λ κ°μ§ λ§κ³ μ κΈ°λ€λ €μ£ΌμΈμ λΌκ³ λ§νμ§ μμμ μ’λ€μ . μλ²μ§λ λ μ λ κ°μ΄ λ€λμλκΉ : )Β
p.s.I often write my journal in English for reasons. However, I also use Korean at times, mostly when I talk to my father not because he does not know English, for I am certain that the language is not a barrier between two souls. I use Korean because it is his familiar language to him and me that connects us deeply than any other language in the world. Thus, I do not change my Korean entry on my website. I hope you use translation function embedded in my website if you are a non-Korean speaking person whom I hope to stimulate your learning process to increase tolerance of using two different languages and trying to understand what I meant to write in my journal.