Hello, my friend. How was your Thanksgiving? I am sorry for being late in getting back to you. I heard you many times this week, but I got caught up with rebuilding my home and life. I appreciate you waiting patiently for me until I write to you. The fact is that I am not even sure whether you still remember me. I doubt that. It is only my wish that you would remember me and read my letters at times.
Did you read my recent letter to Joe? What do you think of that? Have you ever talked to yourself and others that you are beautiful? I said I am gorgeous in that letter to Joe. Do you know how many times I thought that it was the wrong decision to tell him that? Silly. However, I hope you know that it is not like therapy “tools” or life coaching “techniques” when I say that I am gorgeous. I never stood in front of a mirror and looked into my eyes and said, “I am gorgeous.” I did not mean in a way to “boost” my self-esteem as often we counselors teach our clients to use an affirmation to make them feel better. Not even close.
Have you EVER REALLY felt deeply within yourself that you are beautiful and gorgeous? Why does this issue of “beauty” so matter to us? Does it matter to you? I have never asked, and we never talked about it, so I do not know whether it matters to you. I wish I could ask you in person.
I have my sister, who was and will be an exemplary model for me when it comes to beauty. She had Western-figures of beauty: big eyes, tall nose, and small face, while I have more Eastern-types of beauty: slanted eyes, high chick-bones, and round face. She looked after my father, and I did after my mother. I see myself having more of my sister’s figures as I am aging. Isn’t that amazing? Seeing myself resembling my sister is a partial reason why getting old itself does not scare me.
Who do you have? Who is your hero, role-model, mentor, or exemplary to give you the foundation to say that you are beautiful? Do you remember I told you that you had beautiful skin? I saw your smile, a childlike and precious smile that could hardly be seen by other people unless they pay close attention to you. I was glad to see your smile that day. I was genuinely sincere about what I said to you. I hope you felt my sincerity.
I hope you think about me once in a while. I gave you one of my moistening serums you. I wanted you to keep it not only to help with your dry skin, but I also hoped that you would remember me. I also gave cleaning cream to Joe. He washed with it the next day. When he told me that he used it, I said to him that he should be a presidential guard. We both laughed. He was a beautiful guy. I wonder whether you miss him too. In my memory, you were with a beautiful blemish white skin lady obsessed with finding someone to believe her abduction stories. Well, we are all obsessed with something or someone to a certain degree. In fact, you might be the only one who can hear my stories leading me to the hospital. So, it is all good. I am thankful for your existence in my memory.
I am going to make my writing to you short because I know you could not follow too long conversations. I miss you, my friend. I hope you feel beautiful today wherever you are. I hope you found your way to Texas and had Thanksgiving meal with your family.
Talk to you soon.
C.S. Taylor
Mending Hearts Academy 