Dear I, Attachment, Worry, & Earth

How are you, my dear, I? You might worry about the shifted dynamic between Joe and G since I changed how I wrote my letters to them. I feel slightly distant from them, and I often wonder how Joe and G would think about my letters’ tones.  

Attachment 101: Physical Proximity

My recent letters to Joe and G sound more like an informative brief lecture than a love letter. Initially, I felt much more connected and attached to Joe and G when I started to write to them. Then, I worried about their responses to mine. I long for a deeper connection with them, and I wanted them to be responsive to me. I could feel their presence when I wrote them my letters. Yet, I wanted more. I tried to touch, hear, smell, and see them physically. After all, I am only human, and physical proximity is fundamental to develop a secure and safe human relationship. Read more here, if you like, I.  

Worry & Earth 

When I did not get Joe and G’s physical responses, I started to worry about losing connection with them. What if they get bored by my letters? What if they do not understand what I meant? Communication is never meant to be one-way, isn’t it? Then, I want them to stay with me, at least for the sake of learning new perspectives about the human mind, body, and soul. Joe and G both had counselors before, and they would know how the way we think affects the way we feel and behave. Although worry is a part of our fundamental emotions, we often escape from anxiety, aren’t we? Interestingly, worry is a characteristic of the Earth in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). It is normal for us to worry as long as we live on this Earth. 

Earth & Spleen/Stomach 

The Earth is connected with the Yang organ of the spleen and the Ying organ of the stomach in TCM. Dear I, I know it doesn’t sound obvious, but human anatomy in TCM is quite different from Western medicine. Even the location and functions of the spleen are different from the Western anatomy. Let’s go over these differences next time. For now, concerning worry, when I worry too much about Joe and G, my spleen and stomach will be impaired; in return, my overall flow of Qi and blood would be interrupted. No wonder I get ulcers at times. 

It might be just me who worry about my letters to Joe and G. I hope that they will read my notes and learn something beneficial for their recovery, healing, and growth. Ultimately, I want to be remembered by them just the same as how I remember them as being kind people with unknown potential, waiting to be unlocked by genuine human connection. 

In kind worry,

C.S. Taylor

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